Lachat.com

I'm used to climbing on crowded buses with tourists laden with heavy luggage. I can cope with buses crowded and packed so tightly that people are standing well beyond the yellow line which "federal law mandates that no one may stand beyond the yellow line while the bus is in motion." And, somehow, I cope with the homeless on the bus. Now I'm a very compassionate person. I empathize with these people who have ended up as society's outcasts, shuffling around vacantly from place to place. But while I'm glad they are able to use public transportation, I'm still not entirely pleased to be in close proximity.

Well, a far many of the homeless I've come into contact with smell. However, the ones riding the bus tend not to have the weeks-earned smell of urine and whatnot. I doubt the bus driver would let someone on that presented a major hygiene risk. However, while one might be able to stay upwind of a smelly person in public. Within the recirculated air confines of the bus, its a moot effort.

Now, I've been banged by luggage, backpacks, suitcases, elbows, small chinese women, and a whole gamut of other items while riding the bus. And yes, I've been sacked by the bags of crushed aluminum cans that the homeless men and women invariably carry onto the bus. Apparently if its been a particularly good night, they can splurge and take the bus.

One particular person deserves special mention. And elderly homeless man came onto the bus clutching his pants in one hand and a bag of cans in the other hand. All was well while the bus wasn't moving. He moved halfway down the bus. When the bus moves, people must follow generally the same rule as on a boat. You have to keep one hand on the boat, or bus in this case, to steady yourself. Well, sure enough when the bus driver floored it, the man had to choose which hand to hold onto the bus with. Of course, he didn't want to drop his bag of cans. No, he let go of the hand holding his greatly oversized pair of pants. Gravity, by its nature, pulled his pants to the floor and I quickly looked out the window.

Ah well. Perhaps the bus will have a new sign in the future, "Riders must keep their pants on at all times."